Things got difficult on the second season for us, me especially. Our pre-season tour was intense. My physical condition dropped. I couldn't play as well as usual. People started to criticize management. "Management shouldn't have pushed 16-years-old kid playing on every minute. You guys gonna break him". No, what I really want is playing on the pitch. I told that to our manager. Manager gave me a permission. He still allowed me standing on the pitch. But, my performance was awful. My physical condition betrayed me. I collapsed. Manager benched me in few matches. When I regained my physical condition, I was allowed to play again, on pre-season tournament semi and final. My performance is back. I scored a stunner on the final. We won the tournament. Yeah, this season is gonna be good again.
But, I was wrong. I feel more pressure. It's hard to be defending champion. The pressure is so different. It affected my performance on the pitch. I can play well on one match, but awful on the other matches. My roller coaster performance made me a target of critics. When I show excellent performance, people praise me. When I show poor performance, they criticize me again. I don't know what to do. I don't even understand myself. Things getting difficult for me. I'm carrying too much loads. I can't bear it. I'm still 16 years old kid after all. But, people seems to forget that fact. I still have much time for improvement. I can be a better player in the future. Please give me a break. I just want to live honestly. I just want to enjoy playing football.
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